The overwhelming support for my quest to join the Amazing Race has been nothing sort of incredible. In just a few days, the support from my friends and family have been overwhelming.
In a short time, my introductory video had pulled over 65 likes in a matter of 2 days!
On twitter, I have added 7 new followers, including Taye Diggs! (not sure how that happened but hey..)
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| Taye Diggs follows me now! |
Today's post is reflection of the idea of self transformation through admitting your faults, discovering your true strength and accepting your decisions and consequences.
Of course, I think from the title, you can imagine that all of the above refers to what I believe "is the transformation of when I boy becomes a man". The reference comes from a song from a Disney film.. Mulan. Its a great film and a great song you should check it out :)
Recently, I made the decision to move out of my apartment, in queens...It was not an easy decision to do that..it was one that was made at a time of great despair. I gave my landlord less than 2 weeks notice, under the impression that since I was out of lease for over two years that it would be ok and I would get my deposit back...
This was not the case, normally in NYC, we are suppose to give at least 30 days notice...My landlord felt that this wasn't enough time, so as a penalty, he was going to give me half of my deposit instead of the full.
I got angry.. I was mad because in my mind, I felt that with no lease, I was ok to do that...The truth is I was wrong and being unfair to them. I had also mentioned to them, that I would give them at least 20 days and I broke that agreement by abruptly leaving.
I remember yelling and making a big deal out of the situation. Blaming them, and others for this problem I was in now. I remember fighting myself about the situation.
However in the end, I realize that there was no one else to blame but myself. I had made the decision in the end to choose to leave,early and to choose to not give the landlord enough time to find someone to take over the place. The whole situation from start to finish was a product of my decisions and I alone am to blame.
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What do I take away from this?
There are a few lessons I learned from this experience.
1. The decisions you make almost always consequences, accept them and embrace them... I had explained to the landlord that I would move in the best time for all parties. However when my situation changed, so did our agreement, and of course there would be consequences. The 1/2 deposit was in hindsight more than fair, there wasn't enough time for them to find someone to take over..in this case, we had to share the pain..
(There is some good news that came after this..so keep reading)
2. Your word is worth more than money.. I believe that keeping our word is probably the most important thing one can do. When I told my landlord that I would stay longer and didn't...a breach in a contract happen..Not just in the sense legally, but socially. Saying one thing and doing another will allow people to lose trust in you and that is worse than taking away money. I had worked hard to maintain a positive relationship especially with my first landlord.
3. Express yourself...It will help you to cope... We have a tendency to believe that self expression of negative emotions is a bad thing...I recently started to accept the fact that this is the healthiest way to deal with them..get them out as quickly as possible. This will help you with the final point...
4. Be a Man, accept your feelings and move on... We are not perfect people!, we all make mistakes, we all make bad decisions, accept that is ok to be mad or sad and begin the process of moving on from it. I think this quote sums up what you can do..
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So what happened in the end?
| I'm so excited! |
After I was mad and let those feelings pass, I called the landlord, I wanted to apologize for my behavior to recognize that I was wrong to accept the penalty and to move on...
Turns out, the opposite happened..The landlord felt that after the 4 years of being a great tenant, he wanted to maintain a positive relationship and decided to give me 75% of my deposit and called it even.. I was excited, I felt that was more than fair. In this way, a lot of what I said helped me to move on and for me to still come out as a winner in the end..
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Final Thoughts?
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| Don't cheat when becoming a Man ;-) |
I looked back at this situation and recognize that there are things I should have done better, there are things I needed to do better. One day I would hope that my story could be used as a way for others to learn about what it takes to transform from a boy who blames everything on others to a Man that accepts the world for what it is..
This is a part of a wonderful transformation that I am choosing to make before my chance to run the amazing race #amazingrace.
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| My all time favorite show..."How I Met Your Mother" |
One day, I want to be able to look at my Kids..(if I have any) and tell them that their father, made some silly mistakes growing up, but it was also through those mistakes where he finally became a man and that those mistakes are important to make..
They will learn to be a man (woman) from me.
Thanks,
Kevin
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