Today I received the most devastating news, my grandmother passed away...My family is devastated, our grandmother was a matriarch in our family someone who our family looked up. Or at least that is what I was told, the truth is I never met my grandmother. This was the woman that raised my mother. The one who molded her to be the women that she is.I was never able to meet my grandmother because she lived in the country of Dominica. Dominica is a country in the West Indies and due to my schedule and lack of resources, I never made the trip.
The funny thing about memories is that they always seem to come from something, they come from shared experiences, from shared realities..The challenge I have with this situation is that I never was able to shape complete memories of her, I was never able to share my own experiences..
The grief my Mom and her side of the family feel must be unreal, must be heavy and yet I must admit I can't share those feelings with them.
In a weird way, my grief over this comes from a place where I can't share the grief with them, because I don't have memories with my grandmother.
Life is simply too short: Sometimes we are giving chances to reflect on the things we want to do and we are given time (whether short or long) to do those things. Last night before she passed, I told one of best friends that I need to go back home one day and see her.
The truth is, I said that ever 2-3 years, I said that I would go and never did. Now I missed my opportunity to know her. This is what I call a Missed Opportunity.
Many of us have gone through life, saying we will do this, or remarking that we will do that, but sometimes, we never take the chance...we never take the leap...and we are left with a missed opportunity and later regret.
Today, has reminded me about this feeling...it has reminded me that there are plenty of things I want to do, plenty of things I need to see. Things that I will one day may regret.
However, I also recognize that the beautiful thing about life is that no matter how much you accomplish, we as human beings will always push to do more, to be more and that life has only one true limit and that is time.
Therefore, regret to some extent is unavoidable because we can't do everything we want to do in life and therefore the best thing we can do is to live life to fullest, prioritize what we want to accomplish and take realistic steps to get there.
The best thing we can do, is to create a list in our mind and prioritize that... Here is mine..(In no particular order.. yet :-) )
- Travel to the West Indies
- Make another trip to Canada
- Get Married...maybe have a kid or two...
- Become a President of a University
- Skydive
- Run the Amazing Race
- Learn how to Swim
- Learn how to ride a bike
- Learn stick-shift
The list is endless, because in my life I'm always looking for the next thing to do.
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| My Mother, the smallest lady there :) |
I also like to believe that every person lives an imprint or impression on this world. My grandmother in life and in death left an impact on this world. One of the biggest way she did was raising my own mom. My mom, Hyma, is probably one of the sweetest people you would ever meet. She always puts the well being of others in front of herself. She is always willing to sacrifice for her family. My mom is one of the most amazing people I will ever know
In this way, my grandmother lives on within her and in this way, my mom is a living memory of the person my grandmother must have been. Traits like that come from the family you have and the influence they have on you. While I may never shared memories with my grandmother, I know my mom and in that way her memory lives on.
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Life is too short, but there are things we can do to value the time we have, prioritize what we want to do and ultimately value the people we love.
I will live you with this post, which reflect a little of what I spoke about tonight..from Harry Potter.
“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
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